Crafty TV Cliches!

[Rentochops]

Not an A-Z - but a big list, to start:

this would be suitable for the beginner and the more advanced crafter...:D

[sugarplum]

what about taking your crafting to "the next level"

[icebubble]

This card would cost £5 or £6 at least in the shops! :D

[Rentochops]

Where has all the time gone......:D

[Phree]

"You need to leap to the phones"

LOL how often have I heard that one! Visions of manic crafers "leaping" from their various wheelchairs, zimmers etc and promptly falling over.......cuz lets face it judging by the T-callers on QVC craft shows most crafters are debilitated in some way or another ;)

[nicecupoftea]

Howard - 'Thousands are flying out of the door as I speak. That's 50% of the entire UK stock for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.'

[nicecupoftea]

QVC presenter - 'It's a Craft Outlet as we have to make room for the new stock coming in.'

Dawn - 'I keep asking them but they won't let me have the entire warehouse.'

[nicecupoftea]

Amy on any sample she is showing, 'These are just stunning...'

[Rentochops]

Wow wow and wow again - Stephanie about ANOTHER POTD

[Prudence2]

An absolute must have for any crafter.

[Phree]

"Fill your baskets and save on P&P"..... IW/C&C presenters

soon followed by......

"I need to tell you to check out now or your basket might be emptied" :D

[Jeanette]

Its exquisite!!!!

[Rentochops]

literally the value for money that you are getting in this kit...(Stephanie - now)

..we're half an hour into the first day of a 4 day deal and we've literally sold out of 10% - it's never going to last!

[jeanfan]

It looks so effective - Stephanie again

[Wellington]

'This product adds a whole new di-MEN-sion to your crafting....' Has to be said with the emphasis on the 'men' for some reason...

[Rentochops]

things like peel-offs add that finishing touch to your cards....

[Phree]

"you're saving more than you're spending"

[Jeanette]

If its green on the screen, our stocks are lean!!!

[nicecupoftea]

'So Dawn, how long have you been crafting?'

Big sigh, 'Well, since I was a little girl...'

[nicecupoftea]

'Our Queen of Craft!'

[Phree]

"The website is an Aladdin's Cave of crafting goodies" - Nigel, IW

"It's all been done for you" - Dawn on just about every kit QVC sell and IW presenters too on a lot of their kits.

[turquoise]

this is a must have item.
when the p&p is free stock up on your basics
this is a favourite of mine steph on absolutly anything
i know you are not supposed to have favourites but this is mine any IW presenter on anything.

[Shepherdess]

Using this will change your cards from looking homemade to handmade.........and you could easily charge anything upto 4 or 5 pounds for it. (Stephanie again.)

[nicecupoftea]

Dawn at any opportunity - JJ!

[Rentochops]

Dawn at any opportunity - JJ!

..or JJ have you moved it?

[jeanfan]

Jules or Anthony or Pippa(or whoever is presenting)at the end of every sentence,I keep shouting `Yes Dawn,we know their name!`

[nicecupoftea]

'Well these will be just perfect for those mens cards, because as we know they are so hard to cater for'

[Phree]

"Wear your badge with pride" - Nigel of C&C on the topic of Craft Club badges :D

[Wellington]

this is a must have item.
.

I think this is the one I particularly hate - winds me up big style....

[sugarplum]

one of Stephanies favs that irrats the hell out of me "We're talking colour stories"

[lilac froggy Jan]

The web site and phonelines are melting.
Products to fill your craft boxes.

[Wellington]

Products to fill your craft boxes.

Technically not so much a cliche as that ruddy ad with Ellis & her old hair being repeated ad nauseum :D Particularly irritating due to the way she says it!

[LorraineJ]

"and you are getting...........and.......and........and........ ...and" etc

Not strictly a cliche but does Dawn have to marmalise the word gingham, its not pronounced gingeham. Also whats forks fur when its at home, she means faux fur.

She loves her sticky dots and pokey tools and is plugging them at every opportunity.

[Rentochops]

Technically not so much a cliche as that ruddy ad with Ellis & her old hair being repeated ad nauseum :D Particularly irritating due to the way she says it!

well it's all part of that endless promo they show on C&C which I am sure we could all say word perfect...design, dimension.....it's totally feltalicious...blah blah!

Tbh Lorraine, my mate is from Bury and she says Gingham like Dawn does.

[lilac froggy Jan]

Yes it's a regional thing with many words. But the one that annoys me is when they say onvelope instead of envelope. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh.
And I have to laugh when they say you can make lovely onvelopes with the enveloper!

The phones are in meltdown.......frequent one by Howard.

[Phree]

.... "If you've only just joined us, where have you been?"....... Um watching something more interesting prolly ;)

[lilac froggy Jan]

Wellie I have heard Steph say products to fill your craft boxes on one or two shows.

[Wellington]

Wellie I have heard Steph say products to fill your craft boxes on one or two shows.

:) I must have stuck my fingers in my ears by that point - or switched off yet another demo of badly cut decoup!

[soopy]

No cliche to add, but it's been great fun reading all your posts :)

[Marie]

my favourite is still that old one "the phones are going crazy!". I'd love to see some crazy phones! lol

[Biddie]

These colours/designs are very "On Trend" at the moment..

Who started that bliddy phrase anyway? I hear it everywhere!!

[Wellington]

These colours/designs are very "On Trend" at the moment..

Who started that bliddy phrase anyway? I hear it everywhere!!

LOL Biddie - are you watching the C&C repeat showing of yesterday's 4pm 4DD show perchance? At the start of which Steph rabbited on about the fairy kits & lemon being *the* colour of 2009? Or is that just a complete coincidence :D

[Marie]

well every time someone says that something is "on trend" I don't buy it, whether it's clothes or craft stuff!! It's not that I don't like to buy new designs etc but I hate the idea of following the crowd. Also how many times over the years have you bought some piece of clothing in the "fashion" colour - remember when lime green was the new black, lol?? Not that I dislike lime green but really it doesn't go with everything!

[LoobyLou]

When they bang on about 'on trend' is that not a euphemism for 'we bought way too much stock of this particular hideous colour/shape/size/tool/kit (strike out whichever item is not appropriate) and we have to shift it to the unsuspecting crafters somehow so let's convince them it's the latest 'gotta have' item.

LL

[Chess]

IW Presenters. Things are literally flying out! Wouldn't you love to see the skies over Peterborough!?!?!


SW - "The big thing for 2009 is design" what the hell have people been doing up till now!!

[Rentochops]

IW Presenters. Things are literally flying out! Wouldn't you love to see the skies over Peterborough!?!?!


SW - "The big thing for 2009 is design" what the hell have people been doing up till now!!

LOL SW said that several times this afternoon - and she mentioned lemon being the 'in' colour!

I too hate the phrase 'on trend' it is borrowed from fashion - there is a website called www.ontrend.co.uk!

[Craftyktee]

Dawn just said "In my Shop" LOL :p

[Craftyktee]

How long have you been crafting Dawn? - Debbie Greenwood today... :rolleyes:

[mermaid]

"My shop"

"My design studio"

"My peel-off designs"

"My rubber stamp designs"

"Me Me MEEEEEE!!"

Do I need to tell you who that is??!!!! :D

And my personal all time favourite, said by the same person, 'I'm introducing peel-offs to the American crafters' - boy, I bet they were THRILLED!!!!!

[Craftyktee]

"My shop"

"My design studio"

"My peel-off designs"

"My rubber stamp designs"

"Me Me MEEEEEE!!"

Do I need to tell you who that is??!!!! :D

And my personal all time favourite, said by the same person, 'I'm introducing peel-offs to the American crafters' - boy, I bet they were THRILLED!!!!!

Made me laugh :D

[tru-ella]

nothing to add sorry, but what a funny thread!

[eeyores61]

Not a cliche as such, but the following have me shouting at the telly:
Prooshan blue (it's from Prussia, Dawn, rhymes with Russia!)
Gradiated sizes
Dee-coop-age
age-ed
Love this thread:clapping:

[Phree]

Actually last time I heard Dawn mention Prussian blue she got the pronunciation correct - or nearly so. I got the feeling someone has pointed out to her the correct way to say the word and she is trying to remember that it rhymes with Russian.

I have to admit "Gradiated" sizes bugs me too - so can someone let them know the correct term is "graduated".

Another one that gets under my skin is Nigel May's love affair with the word correlate and variations of that word when describing matching elements in a kit - topper and backing papers etc - please just stick with "matching" or co-ordinating" etc. Correlate just sound so bliddy contrived!!

[Rentochops]

Well I am sick and tired of all peeps on C&C saying that a basic kit can to taken to the next dimension/level..every single time and show:headbang:

[budgie]

I am sick of them telling us every time they bring on yet another card kit that it is something DIFFERENT! I used to get excited about potd, but these days, you can usually guess what is coming!

It consists of 40 pre-printed cards
40 envelopes
20 sheets of decoupage
and a sheet of 40 stickers
with or without a box and a few bits to stick on!!!

That is not something different!

[lolathelamb]

Does anyone know where the word 'seasonality' sprang from? Is it not just 'in season' or 'seasonable' in plain English. For that matter, there are many '-ality' words floating around now, aren't there?

It is enough to bring on my boredomality.

[budgie]

Does anyone know where the word 'seasonality' sprang from? Is it not just 'in season' or 'seasonable' in plain English. For that matter, there are many '-ality' words floating around now, aren't there?

It is enough to bring on my boredomality.

I've already caught it!

[Anne]

Joanne always uses the word "utilise" instead of use. It irritates the hell out of me.

[Phree]

Joanne always uses the word "utilise" instead of use. It irritates the hell out of me.

That's just a symptom of Joanne's whole philosopy on presenting Anne. Never use one word when you can think of 10, and never include words of one syllable when you can use words that have 3 or more syllables in them instead ;)

[LoobyLou]

I am sick of them telling us every time they bring on yet another card kit that it is something DIFFERENT! I used to get excited about potd, but these days, you can usually guess what is coming!

It consists of 40 pre-printed cards
40 envelopes
20 sheets of decoupage
and a sheet of 40 stickers
with or without a box and a few bits to stick on!!!

That is not something different!

You forgot the self adhesive, embellished ribbons!

Looby

[Rentochops]

Joanne always uses the word "utilise" instead of use. It irritates the hell out of me.

ooo yes don't get me started - that and many other of her sayings:talking:

..she does long dramatic pauses and then talks rubbish....and laughs with people in the studio making the viewer feel excluded!

[Wellington]

Martyn Parker asking everyone to follow him on Twitter is getting to be a ruddy cliche :headbang:

[Sugarbabe]

As a newbie to this forum, I have greatly enjoyed reading your cliches above. I feel so comfortable, I am amongst like minded crafters. I have none to add at present, many of my biggest teeth grinders have been mentioned. Thanks for the laughs and smiles.

[Rentochops]

As a newbie to this forum, I have greatly enjoyed reading your cliches above. I feel so comfortable, I am amongst like minded crafters. I have none to add at present, many of my biggest teeth grinders have been mentioned. Thanks for the laughs and smiles.

I've just re-read it and it is funny..I've another which is bugging me atm which is .."the designer's done all the hard work"........and the infamous shopping TV cliche "oh that price must be wrong" - see Marsden and Howard on the POTW!

[blarf]

I've got a few -
"Crafters never throw anything away" - I must not be a crafter then 'cos I do!!!
"Great for beginners and more advanced crafters" - how exactly?

And anything involving the great value and quality being better than anywhere else - NOT TRUE the quality is the same no matter where you get it and in shops you don't have to buy stuff they stick in a kit to pad it out.

[tru-ella]

my bug bear is

'for £19.99 we are giving you .....'

not giving me anything, I am buying it

[Serena]

'we don't do difficult' by the Glitter Girls.

[Higgydig]

:doh:Another pet hate of mine is: "It's sold out and GONE"! Well yes, if it's the former, then it's certainly the latter.

[LoobyLou]

:doh:Another pet hate of mine is: "It's sold out and GONE"! Well yes, if it's the former, then it's certainly the latter.

And the even more excruciatingly irritating 80% has sold out. NO IT HASN'T NUMPTIES 80% has sold, it's only bliddy well sold out when there are none left. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr Makes my hackles rise everytime they say it and that's normally a dozen times per product per show.

Looby

[LothianCrafts]

Well my Husband says "Amazing value" when I am watching C&C so I guess they must say that a lot as thats all he rememebers from the shows.

[craftycat]

just discovered this thread. Falling over with laughter, it has really cheered me up and boy did I need to be cheered up.

One thing that really irritates me is Steph and one of her mates giggling away uncontrollably (yikes, that spelling looks odd). Then there are all the times when we get told "this won't last the week" but is still being said a whole week later.

Really getting hot and bothered, brain not functioning and I hate the way I have phrased most of this post!!!!

[Rentochops]

your post is fine CC LOL

I am getting fed up with them saying this kit makes 40 cards but if you are frugal you can easily make 2040!

[craftycat]

And another thing.... all those times they jiggle the mirricard around under the studio lights and say "look how shiny it is". You don't say! I thought mirricard was all dull and boring and nonreflective.

[Rainie]

Hello everyone, I usually just browse the threads but had to sign up today to add my current bugbear on C&C. Stephanie when talking about the contents of a kit uses the word 'included' quite a lot!

'Included in this kit we have 40 pre-printed cards we have also included the envelopes for you and included is the 20 papers and there are some embellishments included too.......'

Must admit I like C&C craft shows more than QVC as they are much more fun to watch!

[budgie]

Hi Rainie welcome to the forum!

[Impossible Princess]

Know this thread's as old as the hills, but having read everything remotely current thought I'd trawl back a bit to pass some more time!!! LOVE this thread, so accurate and funny!! Here are a few that always get me - all QVC as don't watch C&C - can you guess who they are??

"It's the buying power of QVC" (we bleed our suppliers dry)

"I could not allow people to return things they'd tried out to my shop, or I'd go out of business"

"Just get it home. Use your 30 day money back guarantee"

"Well done if you managed to get that, I know it was a bit of a scramble to the phones"

"This kit flew out of the door back in ____" (insert month), hotly followed by:

"As this kit sold out last time it came to air, it means that all those people who missed out last time will now be first in the queue this time around. It has taken 3 months to get it back in stock and could be even longer before we're able to get it back in next time around, so my advice to you would be to get in there quickly and secure yours while you can"

"Ribbon can be expensive"

"Oh no, has it sold out?? Oh and we didn't even manage to get to it. Well done if you managed to get yours" (yes! We were right to tease that item, we knew we could sell it out without having to waste time demoing it)

"All you need are scissors and some adhesive with this kit" (and a scoring board, a bone folder, envelopes...)

I used to love it when everything was "Monotone" too, but they've now been tipped off that the word is monochrome!!

No malice is intended to any of the above individuals, was just my observations and things my Mum and I always have a giggle over when we watch QVC together :happy:

Inspired idea for a thread ROC, very funny!! :grin: :grin: :grin:

[LoobyLou]

Imp you are so much better named with your shortened name cos you really are a naughty little imp, funny, very funny, but oh so naughty! :mysmilie_62::mysmilie_62:

Great observations.

[Little Jan]

One that realy gets me, is Dawn :mysmilie_846:and her
"well I sell it for more then this price at my shop," well I won't be going there then:mysmilie_468:
And the "you can make and sell them at craft fairs I have seen cards made from this kit sold for up to £8.00,
have you ?where?:mysmilie_506: coz if thats the case all us crafters would be millionaires:cash:

[Impossible Princess]

Imp you are so much better named with your shortened name cos you really are a naughty little imp, funny, very funny, but oh so naughty! :mysmilie_62::mysmilie_62:

Great observations.

I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about :mysmilie_50:....

....

....



:mysmilie_454:

[Meggie]

I too have just discovered this thread,& haven't laughed so much in ages as..... things I have said to myself over the years is all contained here,boo hoo I am usually watching on my own so have to talk to myself or the TV!What winds me up these days when most craft fairs are empty& with everyone making their own cards, but unable now to sell any, that all the presenters & Steph & Dawn are the worst culprits.." You can sell each card for at least so& so"NO you cant, theres no money in it now!! I SHOUT

[Summer]

I'm going to be the one to mention the unmentionable

wait for it............

"you are only limited by your imagination"

aaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!

[Rentochops]

I'm going to be the one to mention the unmentionable

wait for it............

"you are only limited by your imagination"

aaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!
They should follow thus with ..and your bank balance!